People who beat cancer have a great positive attitude. But there was one warning I heard from a huge number of people, almost every day, and sometimes two or three times a day: I had to stay positive. In the end, because so many people contradicted one another, I was able to ignore most of them. Much of the advice was bewildering, and all of it was anxiety-producing. I felt that I had to listen when people told me what to do, because clearly I didn’t know anything. But when I got cancer, my body broke down so catastrophically that I stopped trusting what I thought and believed. Do you ever think about suing? Do you ever wonder whether, if you’d just let some time pass, the cancer would have gone away on its own?īefore I got cancer, I thought I understood how the world worked, or at least the parts that I needed to know about. Do you live near a freeway or drink tap water or eat food microwaved on plastic plates? That’s what caused it. Join a support group, make a collage, make a collage in a support group, collage the shit out of your cancer. Exercise-but not too vigorously exercise- hard, like Lance Armstrong. Listen to a recent story on NPR do not read a recent story in Time magazine. Stop eating sugar keep up your weight with milkshakes.
Laugh and the world laughs with you get cancer and the world can’t shut its trap.
You won’t even have the first pathology report in your hands before the advice comes pouring in. Are you someone who enjoys the unsolicited opinions of strangers and acquaintances? If so, I can’t recommend cancer highly enough.